Question: What are beginner tips for sex you'd give a young man? Which condom brand is the best?
Thank you for being brave enough to ask such a sensitive question. Making the decision to have sex for the first time is a big decision, but it can be made less overwhelming with pre-planning. Don’t expect sex to be as it is in movies, books, or in pornography. Everyone responds physically and emotionally to sex differently. Secondly, the decision as to when to have sex is yours alone. Don’t let society, your family, your friends, or a romantic partner pressure you.
Once you’re sure, have a thorough conversation with your potential partner. Discuss birth control options, physical or verbal triggers, likes and turn ons, and safe words. Safe words are tools that will allow you and your partner to stop in the middle of the act to re-evaulate, because what you or your partner thought would feel good in your minds might feel bad in reality.
When engaging in any sex act, you and your partner should take it slowly. It’s not a race to penetration or an orgasm. Sex can still be a physically and emotionally fulfilling experience without those things. Be in a physical space where you are able to leisurely enjoy each other without worry of interruption. Consent is also important for both you and your partner. During the act, you and your partner need to keep the lines of communication open. Is this okay? Faster? Softer? Are all simple questions that can add to enjoyment while boundaries and consent remain. (Click this link from Scarlet Teen about consent when your partner is non-verbal. )
Finally, choosing the best condom for you is a matter of trial and error. I recommend buying a variety pack of sizes and sensations and experiment with them in your alone time. If you’re allergic to latex, there are latex-free options. Male (external) condoms, female (internal) condoms or dental dams should be used during all oral and penetrative sex to prevent sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancies.
Teens, get reliable and researched answers to your Puberty and Sex Ed questions. Email us at bklynfuture@bklynlibrary.org and expect an answer within two weeks. Excerpts of questions may be used anonymously in future Bklyn Future posts.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this post is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice or mental health counseling. Please consult with a medical or mental health professional when seeking medical or mental health advice, diagnoses, or treatment. We are not liable for risks or issues associated with your using or acting upon the information in our site.
This blog post reflects the opinions of the author and does not necessarily represent the views of Brooklyn Public Library.
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