Winter Solstice: It's the Return of the Light!
When my now 18-year-old and 16-year-old kiddos were in elementary school, their teachers would have Winter Solstice parties just before the start of December break. When I was in elementary school from 1977-1984, we had Christmas parties and lit Hanukkah candles. We didn’t learn about “Winter Solstice,” whatever that was. I assumed that schools had chosen to recognize this scientific phenomena in order to be more inclusive of the different cultures that compromised the student bodies of New York City. It wasn’t until I started reading up on earth celebrations earlier this year that I…
Period Protection For Back to School
Pencils? Check. Notebooks? Check. Bookbag? Check. Scientific calculator? Check. Uniform shirt? Check. Pads and tampons? Uh-oh! When preparing for the new school year, heading to the Staples and Rumi to stock up on cute stationery supplies seems like a no brainer but how about the menstrual hygiene aisle at the supermarket? Although all New York public middle and high schools are required to have free period products available in the restrooms, it’s easy to be caught unaware. Bathroom dispensers in schools, however, are only a drop in a bucket compared to the millions of menstruators who…
Sexplanations for You!
There is so much information about sex, but there aren’t many clear answers. Is gender and virginity really a social construct? Does sexuality exist on a spectrum? Am I normal? Jokes about kinks or accusations of grooming and sexualization are all over social media, and most of these comments are by folks who neither have the experience nor the knowledge of what those terms mean. The LGBTQIA+acronym seems to grow longer by the day while people are declaring themselves ethically non-monogamous and polyamorous before they’ve even had their first kiss. How does one cut through the…
New Year, Same You and That's Ok!
Counting down to a new year makes me anxious especially in the age of social media. I’m overwhelmed by all the year-in-review countdowns--top 10 songs, top 10 TikTok trends, top 10 most searched terms on Google! UGH! Even worse are the messages of “New Year, New You." They feel like a personal attack. Did I live up to my goals? Do I have any new goals? Do I have to work harder, read more, take better IG photos, eat better, vote, save the world? All this new year resolution stuff is just too much pressure. When did this even start? According to History.com and Almanac.com, new year…
You Ask, We Answer...Asexuality
Question: Can I be asexual even as a virgin? Answer: What a great question! Thank you for your courage in trusting me to provide you with some information. The short answer is “yes,” but let me delve further. First, let’s define what does it mean to be asexual or “ace.” Asexuality is a sexual orientation where people have a lack of interest in having sex. It doesn’t mean that this person will never be in a romantic relationship or have sex. Sexual desire is a complex and individual experience. “Asexuality is an orientation not an ideaology.” For more information and to find support,…
You Ask, We Answer Your Puberty and Sex Questions
Question: What are beginner tips for sex you'd give a young man? Which condom brand is the best? Thank you for being brave enough to ask such a sensitive question. Making the decision to have sex for the first time is a big decision, but it can be made less overwhelming with pre-planning. Don’t expect sex to be as it is in movies, books, or in pornography. Everyone responds physically and emotionally to sex differently. Secondly, the decision as to when to have sex is yours alone. Don’t let society, your family, your friends, or a romantic partner pressure you. Once you’re…
Safe Sex and Free Condoms
When used correctly, condoms are one of the most discreet and portable ways to protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy and sexuall transmitted diseases. Condoms are also a versatile form of protection that can be used during oral, vaginal, or anal sex. Every gender can protect themselves with a product that has little to no side effects. For folks with latex allergies, condoms are also available in plastic or nitrile varieties. Cases of syphilis and gonorrhea have gone up since 2020 in New York City. The rates of syphilis went up by 30.7% among people reported as female (females…
Let's Celebrate Menstrual Hygiene Day!
Period. Cycle. Monthly. Aunt Flow. Special visitor. Shark Week. Everyone who sheds their uterine lining has a special name for that time of the month. For some menstruators, getting a period is no big deal. It’s just another few days out of the month, but it’s a big deal for others. Some folks get periods with debilitating pain. For some trans men, it’s a painful reminder that their body and gender don’t align. And, for some people, it means having to stay home from work or school because they cannot afford menstrual hygiene products like maxi pads, tampons, or menstrual…
We Answered Your Sex Ed and Puberty Questions
Question: How can I masturbate beside using my hand? I'm nervous because I feel I’m starting to like masturbating too much, and I like putting things in my anus. I'm scared my mom might find out, please help. You have given us quite a doozy of a first question. Thank you! I applaud your bravery in reaching out. First things first: You. Are. Normal. There is nothing wrong with masturbation. It is a healthy activity that allows you to connect with your body and helps you learn what types of touches you enjoy. Liking it “too much” only becomes a problem if it interferes with your daily…
Ask Us Your Sex & Puberty Questions
Nearly seven years ago, my supervisor gave me the okay to facilitate puberty and sex ed workshops for teens at my branch. I had not planned on becoming the “Sex Ed Librarian” when I started here 17-years ago, but here I am offering to help you answer some of your biggest sex and puberty questions. My kiddos were on the cusp of puberty and starting middle school nearly a decade ago. Since they have so much access to information at their fingertips, I didn’t want them to enter into a new social world with inaccurate information. Sure, they knew how babies were made, that people with…