What the Heart Wants: Valentine's Day from Two Perspectives

Much of the beginning of February is the leadup to Valentine's Day—if you don't have your plans ironed out much further in advance. For many the holiday is a divisive one. Today, we're joined on the blog by two Brooklyn Public Library staff members who will be making their case for and against the day—supported, of course, by some exemplary examples in literature. Please note: Spoilers may be ahead for anyone who hasn't read some of the books mentioned.

I was recently reading Fleabag: The Scriptures when I came across a gem of a speech given by a character named Priest. (or, as he's become known throughout the Fleabag loving world, “Hot Priest”). The speech comes at the beginning of a wedding ceremony and near the end of Priest’s struggle to figure out if he should give up the priesthood to pursue a relationship with a woman he could love. He introduces the idea of love and then says this:

Love is awful. It's awful. It's painful. It's frightening. Makes you doubt yourself, judge yourself, distance yourself from the other people in your life, makes you selfish, makes you creepy, makes you obsessed with your hair, makes you cruel, makes you say and do things you never thought you would do...It's all any of us want, and it's hell when we get there. So, no wonder it's something we don't want to do on our own. I was taught if we're born with love then life is about choosing the right place to put it. People talk about that a lot, it feeling right, "When it feels right, it's easy", but I'm not sure that's true. It takes strength to know what's right. And love isn't something that weak people do. Being a romantic takes a hell of a lot of hope. I think what they mean is when you find somebody that you love, it feels like hope. So thank you for bringing us all together here today. To take words from this book of love: be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.

It’s a sentiment anyone who’s ever dealt with love (i.e., everyone) can relate to and seems relevant now that Valentine’s Day is upon us.   

Valentine’s Day—with its financial demands, its unreasonable expectations, its manipulative marketing, its months-in-advance restaurant reservation requirements, and its influx of unbearably cute, heart-wielding plush teddy bears—is ridiculous.  And to lay something as important as Love—the best thing that life has to offer—on top of it makes the holiday even more absurd.

To honor patrons who see love for the strength it takes to pursue yet recognize the havoc it can wreak, we offer this reading list for all levels of engagement with this trickiest of days.  

Mr. Fox by Helen Oyeyemi

This fever dream of a book takes takes a fairy tale-like premise, infuses it with human longing, dispenses with the trappings of time and space and places the reader in a familiar world that makes that only occasionally makes sense.  Sound familiar?

This Is How You Lose Her by Junot Díaz 

These short stories litter the literary landscape with characters left to languish in Love’s wake.  Sure, I like the look of my literary alliterations but that doesn’t mean they’re any less true. A great book for those defeated by love who want to follow more of its victims.  

Everywhere I Look by Helen Garner 

This book of essays by Australian writer Helen Gardner shows the myriad directions Love can go without relying on romantic attachment.  Gardner’s insights affirm life’s rich tapestry and reveal the threads of what make us truly human. 

Cork Dork: A Wine-Fueled Adventure Among the Obsessive Sommeliers, Big Bottle Hunters, and Rogue Scientists Who Taught Me to Live for Taste by Bianca Bosker  

Obsessions are tricky.  They tend to be less about the object to be obsessed over but more about the space they fill in our lives.  This book but tech reporter Bianca Bosker explores the elite world of wine sommeliers, whose love and dedication to the art of wine lead them to the further most reaches of science, history and sensory perception.  This “compulsively readable” books is for those looking for a kick from their usual perspectives and who need a reminder that love can lead to unusual, fascinating and exciting places. And if that fails, at least you’ll never look at a glass of wine in the same way..

Cat’s Eye by Margaret Atwood 

This novel’s protagonist, Artist Elaine Risley, returns to Toronto for a retrospective of her controversial career.  Once there, she’s haunted by images of her past which cloud her identity as a daughter, a friend, a romantic partner and a person. This dark and funny novel details her struggle to come to terms with that past so she can engage the world  in a more honest way. This beautifully written epic is perfect for those who know that a lot needs to be gotten through before Love can even be considered a part of one’s life.

---

While Valentine's Day has become largely commercialized, it's diving into literary works that can inspire love anew! After all the great bard himself wrote: 'The sight of lovers feedeth those in love.' For every tale of caution in literature, there are tales of amazing love that inspires us as readers and humans, and sometimes books are what teach us how to love. I recently watched the show Soundtrack on Netflix and in it one of the character's says "every song is a love song" and in many ways the same is true for books. Every book tackles love in some way or another—whether it's the absence of love, or my preference, the presence of love. 

Below, you'll find a list that will inspire love or help you find it within yourself this holiday. 

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

The saying "it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" is certainly true when reading The Fault in Our Stars. While this book tells the heartbreaking story of two teens who find love while one is terminally ill, it also offers one of my favorite quotes about what it feels like to fall in love. Green writes: "I fell in love like you would fall asleep: slowly and then all at once."

The Bromance Book Club by Lyssa Kay Adams

Sometimes finding love again is about bettering yourself first. When professional baseball player, Gavin's marriage is on the rocks, he turns to a romance novel book club to help him learn how to save himself—and his marriage. It's a beautiful and hilarious book and dives into how men talk when they talk about love. 

Get a Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert

With the New Year so recently upon us, the list-minded love addicts among us will appreciate Chloe Brown, the heroine of Talia Hibbert's romance. Chloe come up with seven directives to help her "Get a Life." But, of course, falling in love never goes exactly as planned, but this book makes it a joy to watch.  

Origami from the Heart by Florence Temko

If quiet contemplation is more your thing, find the meaning of love within your own heart when you make origami hearts with Origami from the Heart.